“Gender isn’t a line, with one point or another; one extreme or the next. It’s a large pond, a like, an ocean. There are shallow shores and deep currents. And you may choose to exist wherever you like.”—An Awesome Trans Man (Adrian)
This total feeling of aloneness just engulfed me. I dont understand from where it came from or why but it’s here. It’s horrible. Its just …. out of all your friends not one person can comfort you because you don’t even know how to comfort yourself..
When I tell people that I want to be a better person the response I get is usually ” sam you are a good enough person” or ” Why you already are better then a lot of people”. But there is always room for improvement. I’m not trying to say that in a cocky OCD way.
I just want to be better then I am now. I’m not trying to end up some great missionary. I just want to prove to myself that I can do better. That I can always improve with a lot of will power.
Have you ever been through this?
This feeling of needing improvement isn’t for my family or God… it’s for me. Because sometimes at the end of the day I think about how I could have been better and if I do better I can be happier. Not that im unhappy. I’m content with life but i could be happier about it.